Chapter 160. Whatever, Let’s Just It Once (3)
So this guy...
‘A Legendary Sword, and even a magic sword whose main feature is absorption, is a picky eater?’
It only chooses what it wants to eat?
If it doesn’t like something even slightly, it just spits it out reflexively, without caring about the user’s situation or anything else?
“.........”
Finally, the truth was revealed.
Kim Jangcheol was dumbfounded.
But then, even Lara responded as if she were just as baffled.
[Huh? A picky eater, even though it's a magic sword? Are you talking about Lara, master?]
‘...Uh, yeah, pretty much. You’re reading my thoughts again, aren’t you.’
[I didn’t peek.]
‘Then?’
[I just heard it.]
‘............’
Great, I can’t even think freely anymore.
[...And even that thought, Lara hears it all!]
‘............’
Damn it.
Kim Jangcheol felt something snap inside—like something was breaking apart with a sharp crack.
But he held it in.
Right now, Lara’s role is important.
This thing had to function properly to purify the swamp and move forward with the plan.
‘So, Lara?’
Let’s try to soothe it for now.
Somehow coax it, guide it along.
Determined, Kim Jangcheol began persuading Lara with a gentle tone.
‘You know, people—well, you're not a person, you're a sword, but still…’
[Still pretty!]
‘Uh, yeah. Lara’s pretty. That’s why our Lara will carry out her missions flawlessly, take responsibility to the end, and do her part, right?’
[Yes, that’s right. Lara listens to the master and protects the master well. With Lara, the master will be strong and won’t die.]
‘Exactly, that’s it. That’s why I trust you, Lara. So about that...’
[Lara won’t eat any plankton bits! They taste bad!]
‘.........’
Son of a—
[Ah! Master cursed again!]
‘...........’
[Cursing is a bad habit! Even if something’s upsetting, you should resolve it with kind words and control yourself!]
‘...........’
I want to.
I really do.
‘Okay, so Lara?’
[Yes?]
‘You said it yourself, right? You protect your master.’
[That’s right! Lara protects the master!]
‘So, just once, could you use your skill on this red tide plankton? Please?’
[Why?]
‘Because that’s how you protect me?’
[Nope!]
‘..........’
[Lara doesn’t think that way. From what Lara sees, the master won’t be in danger even without a plankton eating show!]
‘He will be. Soon, okay?’
[Don’t wanna!]
‘Why? Because it tastes bad?’
[Of course!]
‘.......’
[Lara loves eating, but not things that taste bad. That’s violence. Don’t make Lara do that!]
‘.......’
It’s no use talking.
So incredibly stubborn.
This thing’s taste preference is unbreakable.
‘Tsk.’
Looks like persuasion won’t work.
But should I give up the plan over this? Just because of a magic sword’s ridiculous pickiness?
‘That’s nonsense.’
I can’t let myself be dragged around by an object. I mustn’t. I’ll show this tool, with its random stubbornness and food tantrums, what the pinnacle of all beings is capable of.
[...That kind of thinking is bad!]
‘...........’
Whether it read his thoughts or not, Lara freaked out and shrieked.
But Kim Jangcheol didn’t waver.
Didn’t even blink.
‘Tsk. Quiet.’
Clank!
He shoved Lara back into its sheath.
Then returned to the Demon King’s castle with the Combat Engineering Corps.
That was when it began.
Kim Jangcheol began preparing re-education to fix Lara’s picky eating habits.
‘Plankton doesn’t taste good? Then I’ll make you eat something even worse!’
He had to feed it something awful first. Lower the average taste score of this damn sword’s palate.
That was Kim Jangcheol’s plan.
But there was a problem.
‘...Still, I can’t just feed it stuff humans or demons can’t eat. I don’t even have a way to do that.’
He focused on Lara’s absorption skill—Nutrient Drain.
It only worked on living organisms.
The skill could only be used if the target was a living creature.
‘So, if I want to feed something to Lara, she can’t just absorb it directly from food or matter.’
That was the case even in the toxic swamp.
He had to designate the target as a living organism when casting the skill.
Just like how he designated the cluster of red tide-causing organisms.
Same thing this time.
‘Something tasteless. Incredibly disgusting. Something anyone would call a culinary abomination. But something someone can eat.’
Someone has to eat it.
And then be stabbed by Lara.
That was the only way to feed her.
‘So what would be good?’
Kim Jangcheol pondered.
Sifted through his memories.
‘Weird food combos. Highly polarizing, with more haters than fans... something technically edible by humans… Hmmm…’
Thanks to that reflection,
a few ideas came to mind.
‘Should I try that one? A lab junior had a friend... I think he was a writer? Named Baek Kyung or something? That guy said he puts ketchup and pepper on fried dumplings.’
He was shocked when he first heard it.
Could that even be considered food?
But...
‘Wait, now that I think of it, I actually tried it once. And surprisingly, it was kind of delicious. That guy really had good taste. So let’s skip that recipe.’
That won’t work.
So what would?
Just as he was deep in thought—
“Baal! My breath smells fresh! Hoo! Ha! Hoo! Ha!”
A loud voice rang out from near the farm shack.
He looked outside and saw Baal.
But Baal’s behavior was strange.
“Hey, Baal? What are you doing? What kind of breath attack is that?”
“Hoo! Ha! Hoo! Baal! So fresh!”
“...What’s that smell?”
“Combat engineer! Gave Baal a leaf full of cool scent!”
Baal shouted happily with a big grin.
Then, a familiar yet unexpected scent wafted over.
“No way, mint?”
“That’s it!”
“...The engineering corps had mint in their supplies?”
Ding.
Kim Jangcheol felt a small bell ring in his mind.
At that moment, he rushed to the corps commander.
And asked,
“By any chance, among your supplies, do you have mint and chocolate?”
“Uh, yes. We have a bit of mint to eliminate the smell of meat... and chocolate as a morale-boosting snack for the soldiers...”
“Just give me a little! Quickly!”
“.........Uh, uh? Ah, alright.”
Maybe it was because of this outrageous demand, but the combat engineer captain, overwhelmed, obediently handed over the supplies.
Thanks to that, Kim Jangcheol was able to complete it.
‘Mint and chocolate! If I just smash them together, mix-mix, and mash it all together…!’
Dun dun!
And so, the very first mint chocolate of the Laurasia Continent was born.
Everyone who saw it was horrified.
“Lord? This is... what exactly?”
“Mint chocolate.”
“Is this... edible?”
“Of course.”
At that response, Zephyros furrowed his brows slightly. He quickly pulled a notebook and pen from his coat.
“Year XX of the Demon King’s reign, Month XX… At last, the Demon King truly lost his mind, and created a forbidden food that neither demons, humans, nor dragons could consume…”
“............”
“He even proudly laughed and boasted about this crime, and all the demons of the Abandoned Land who witnessed it trembled in fear at the revealed evil, cruelty, and utterly anti-human, depraved behavior of the Demon King...”
“...Hey.”
“Thus, everyone repeatedly held serious discussions on eliminating and destroying the Demon King, but upon being reminded that they were in the very center of the Abandoned Land, they fell into despair and ruin...”
“Wait a sec. Zephyros? Are you writing a novel?”
“Excuse me?”
“I said, are you writing a novel? What was that you were just mumbling and writing down? That’s not a chronicle. That didn’t even happen.”
“But it’s something that will definitely happen.”
“Why?”
“Because I already know.”
“........”
“Mixing mint and chocolate… What were you thinking? How could you even conceive such a monstrous creation? I can’t help but lament. Every single demon who sees this would react the same. That’s why I’m documenting it now—the upcoming 100% guaranteed destruction of the Abandoned Land.”
“...And yet I can see you’re not even writing anymore.”
“Did you catch that?”
“Try hiding it better. If you want to criticize, at least do it openly.”
“That’s why I am criticizing it openly right now.”
“......Yeah. Good for you.”
Kim Jangcheol let out a bitter chuckle.
But inwardly, he was satisfied.
‘Good.’
If Zephyros was reacting this strongly, then Lara would be horrified enough too.
At that moment, a memory from Korea flashed through his mind.
‘Even there, I was sometimes rejected. Just because I liked mint chocolate.’
Yes.
He was a mint chocolate supporter.
And it often terrified those around him.
And regrettably(?) it seemed to be the same here.
‘Well then, let’s give it a try.’
To make Lara eat it.
Kim Jangcheol picked up a spoon.
And scooped up the freshly mashed mint chocolate and ate it in big mouthfuls!
“...Ugh, ngh!”
Zephyros, watching from the side, recoiled in horror.
Even Lara, tumbling around in her sheath, was alarmed.
[Master? What are you doing? Are you crazy?]
Lara’s voice echoed in his mind, full of genuine concern.
But of course, he ignored her.
He ate the mint chocolate to the very last bite.
Even licked the bowl clean.
Then he drew Lara.
Shwing!
‘Alright, now it’s your turn.’
[Huh?]
‘Time for you to eat.’
[Whaaat?]
Lara was bewildered.
Her turn? What could that possibly mean?
Soon, Lara would understand.
Because Kim Jangcheol pricked his own finger with her sharp tip.
‘Nutrient Drain! Target is me!’
Ding-dong!
[Huh? Uh?]
Just as Lara flinched,
Kim Jangcheol’s firm will to give a proper lesson in anti-picky-eating manifested as an active skill.
Fwooooosh!
[....!]
A large amount of mana poured out from Kim Jangcheol’s Mana Seed, flowing into Lara’s blade. Fueled by that power, the skill activated.
The target of the skill was Kim Jangcheol himself.
The mint chocolate he just consumed.
The forbidden substance was absorbed by Lara!
[...Ugh! Wh-What is this!]
Lara was appalled.
Mint and chocolate?
This was wrong.
So wrong, beyond wrong!
[Ughhh! Bleuuurgh!]
The moment Lara tasted the utterly immoral flavor and scent of mint chocolate, she tried to spit it out immediately.
Just as she had always done until now.
Just like how she had always stuck to her picky preferences.
But this time, she couldn’t.
‘Not so fast! Tsk!’
Chomp!
As Lara was about to spit out the mint chocolate, Kim Jangcheol opened his mouth and bit down on her blade.
[....... Gaaaaah!]
Immediately afterward, Lara expelled the mint chocolate from her blade.
But...
Kim Jangcheol caught it with his mouth!
Not a single drop was lost!
Sluuurp?!
The mint chocolate that spurted from the blade went straight into Kim Jangcheol’s mouth.
He gulped it down.
It slid into his stomach.
And then... was absorbed again by Lara!
[......!]
Lara was horrified.
And realized.
Between her and Kim Jangcheol, an eternal, unbreakable cycle of mint chocolate had formed.
It was now clear what this implied.
[Kyaaaaaaaaaah!]
There was no escape.
She would have to keep tasting it.
This dreadful flavor of mint chocolate! Again and again! Forced to taste it no matter how much she gagged or puked! She had the misfortune of being wielded by this insane master!
[I-I’m sorry... Lara was wrong!]
It was the moment that the picky palate of Lara, the Legendary Sword of Camilan, developed over hundreds of years, was cured in a single blow.
This one is so exciting! I'm waiting for further interaction between Aged Kimchi and Kim Jangcheol!
I really enjoy reading this, and I adore the loyalty Credos' people held to him!