Chapter 98
A cold chill ran down her back.
Trying to hide her flustered state, she lowered her eyes.
She herself did not know why she had said such a thing.
Her heart pounded violently, as if it might explode at any moment.
When she thought that the pounding might be audible to his ears, goosebumps rose all over her body.
Thalia, thrown into panic and confusion, soon began blurting out anything she could.
“It sounds horrible just thinking about it, right? So stop shoving that awful medicine at me. That’s how much, how much I hate it…”
The words she spoke to cover it up seemed instead to expose what was inside her, and heat rose all the way to her ears.
She moistened her drying lips with her tongue.
She sensed Varkas, who had been standing without moving, approaching the side of the bed.
But she could not bring herself to raise her head.
He must be wearing a dumbfounded expression.
A woman who had been causing a scene like someone possessed only a few hours earlier was now saying something absurd, so he must surely look disgusted.
Perhaps he might even have a cold sneer on his face.
As if being chased by something, she rambled on incoherently.
“Do you know how awful that medicine is? After I take it, even my stomach hurts. But you keep forcing it, so I meant that you should stop…”
“Thalia.”
At the voice ringing right above her forehead, Thalia stopped speaking.
When she creakily lifted her head, eyes like a winter lake at dawn filled her vision.
The man, staring at her as if looking at puzzle pieces that could not be fitted together, spoke in a low voice.
“I’ll feed you, so come here.”
Thalia blinked blankly.
She could not fully understand the words she had heard.
With confused eyes, she looked down at the medicine bottle in his hand, then moved her gaze to his smooth-looking lips.
Suddenly, a strange thirst rose.
She tore at her rough lips and turned her gaze away.
“I only…”
She was about to ramble that she had only said it casually and ask why he was taking it so seriously, when he opened the medicine bottle.
Thalia flinched and raised her head.
Those transparent eyes, impossible to read, looked at her as if confirming her intention.
They were eyes that seemed to see through her entirely, yet saw nothing at all.
With those mineral-like eyes fixed on her, he brought the medicine bottle to his mouth.
Her heart trembled faintly.
If she told him to stop now, she could at least protect the last of her pride.
Had she not struggled desperately, determined never to lose even that?
Without it, she would truly become nothing.
But…
She looked up at him with trembling eyes.
The memory of the day his lips had touched hers rose in her mind.
If by giving up one handful of pride, she could confirm that night again…
Thalia squeezed her eyes shut.
Then a large hand with prominent knuckles wrapped around the nape of her neck.
The scent of water, mint, and the wind that always made her uneasy brushed the tip of her nose.
Soon, mucous membranes imbued with the rich scent of grass and flowers covered her lips.
They were lips that had once only spat sharp words that made her heart ache.
When she was young, she had even thought that touching them might hurt like being cut by a knife.
Those once-cruel lips were shaking all her senses.
Thalia unconsciously gripped his shirt tightly.
He tilted her head back and pressed his lips down more firmly.
Thalia, who had stiffened rigidly, could not withstand the force pressing her cheek and opened her mouth.
Concentrated herbal liquid flowed along the tip of her tongue.
She had barely frowned at the bitter taste that seemed to burn her mouth when a soft tongue pushed through her lips.
Startled by the deep intrusion that felt as if it would pierce her throat, she pushed at his chest, and the slippery flesh withdrew slightly.
But before she could feel relief, the sensitive membrane inside her cheek was crushed.
At the unfamiliar stimulation, Thalia shrank her neck.
The heavy flesh changed direction, rubbed against the roof of her mouth, and then entangled itself stickily with her tongue.
Saliva filled her mouth.
The bitter liquid and both of their saliva mixed and flowed to the corner of her mouth.
Before she could feel shame at that, the sharpened tip of his tongue dug deep inside again.
Her throat tightened on its own and sucked him in.
The instinctive movement meant to swallow something transformed into an act horrifyingly obscene.
She shuddered, letting out a strange moan she had never imagined would come from her own mouth.
It felt as though the wet, sucking sounds were soaking even her eardrums.
Unable to handle the increasingly intense movements, Thalia struck his iron-like shoulder with her fist.
At last, his lips separated.
Transparent saliva stretched between them like a thread.
She stared at it with trembling eyes, then timidly raised her gaze.
Then she saw his calm face, as if he were observing her reaction.
Suddenly, deep confusion swept over her.
Had that sticky act just now all been her delusion?
She was frozen by his peaceful expression, which was calm enough to make her doubt it, when Varkas picked up the medicine bottle and shook it lightly.
“There’s still medicine left.”
His beautiful voice, mixed with a faint metallic rasp, stimulated her eardrums.
Thalia widened her eyes, then hurriedly lowered her gaze.
She felt a fierce throbbing at her temple.
By her ear, he demanded one more piece of her pride.
“What should I do with this?”
Thalia tore at her stinging lips and looked down at the flickering fire shadows.
After hesitating in the suffocating silence for some time, she finally nodded.
But he showed no reaction.
After hesitating briefly, Thalia painfully squeezed a voice from her tightened throat.
“…Feed it to me.”
In an instant, her head was tilted back.
Immediately, the thick liquid seeped into her mouth.
As she swallowed it down, an unpleasant heat flowed along her esophagus.
But the sharp bitterness was washed away at once by sticky saliva.
Thalia squeezed his shirt and let out short breaths.
The hot flesh swam ceaselessly through the narrow space.
Under the force pressing strongly against her, her back was gradually pushed down until it finally touched the bedsheet.
Thalia looked up at him with a frightened face.
She wanted to raise herself, but she could not escape him even for a moment.
Varkas, supporting himself on the bed with one hand and leaning over her, continued to suck at her lips.
On his face covered in deep shadow, only his two eyes shone vividly.
It felt as if she were immersed in cold flames.
All her senses melted limply, yet her chest turned cold with unease.
“Open your mouth wider.”
His moisture-laden voice wet the corner of her mouth.
Thalia looked up at him with trembling eyes, then slowly opened her jaw wider.
The hot flesh immediately scraped over her tongue and invaded near her throat.
Then, as if savoring the sensation of her sucking him in with little choking sounds, it lingered there for a while before slowly withdrawing.
With the repeated act, her mind grew faint.
When she turned her head to the side to inhale the air she had run out of, he grabbed her hair.
His long fingers wrapped around her hair and pulled with a force that did not hurt.
Even that felt chillingly obscene.
“Varkas…”
A pleading voice mixed into her breathless exhale.
She did not even know what she was begging for.
When she looked up with wet eyes, she saw his eyes slightly distorted.
A slightly rough palm swept up the sweat-damp nape of her neck.
All of a sudden, a dreadful curiosity rose.
Had he ever touched someone else this way?
The image of him kissing Ayla flashed through her mind.
He must have laid that woman on a bed and sucked her lips too.
Just as he had silently complied with her own demand, he must have silently complied with Ayla’s demands as well.
Because to him, an act like this probably held no meaning at all.
Because something that felt as if it overturned the whole world to her was probably truly nothing to him.
“…Why are you crying?”
He released the lip he had been biting and asked in a heavily subdued voice.
His calloused thumb swept beneath her eye.
Thalia hid her eyes beneath her lashes.
“…I’m tired. I want to sleep now.”
Varkas, who had narrowed his brows, slowly raised himself.
He looked so detached that it was hard to believe he was the same person who had greedily explored someone else’s mouth just moments ago.
He walked to the window and pushed it open.
Cool, damp air pushed away the heat lingering in the room.
Thalia stared silently at his side profile swallowed by darkness, then turned to the other side and closed her eyes.
Her mind gradually grew hazy.
When she opened her eyes tomorrow, would she treat today as another dream?
As she blankly thought that, Thalia soon sank into unconsciousness.
***
“I have thoroughly silenced everyone, so last night’s unpleasant incident will not spread.”
Varkas, who had been patting Tork as he snorted roughly, looked at the lord of Dorkaen.
The man stretched the corners of his mouth and prattled.
“In any case, you truly have taken an extraordinary wife. Where in that angelic appearance does such an impressive temper…”
“Uzan Darken.”
Perhaps reading the warning in his voice, the man closed his mouth.
Varkas added calmly,
“I think it would be best to control your own mouth first.”
Varkas' thoughts and feelings don't match his actions it's a huge disappointment.
Man I feel Thalia on a molecular level. Depression (/PTSD) is exhausting for both whoever's suffering from it and everyone around them, equally. The mood swings the sudden sadness and inexplicable guilt.. I wish Varkas had more personality I hope we get more of his POV and his thoughts because I serious can't give him grace even after learning about his own trauma. Dude is too rough and violent on Thalia.