Chapter 119
“Are you truly certain you will not regret this?”
Varkas asked in a tightly strained voice.
Feeling as though he would push her away and leave if she showed even the slightest hesitation, she immediately nodded.
The man stared at her for a long while, as if piercing through her eyes, before finally wrapping one arm around her waist and rising from his seat.
Thalia instinctively grabbed his clothes.
With a series of popping sounds, two gold buttons that had been barely clinging to his chest rolled onto the floor.
While she unconsciously followed them with her eyes, the soft sheet touched beneath her hips.
Thalia looked up at him with anxious eyes.
After setting her down on the bed, Varkas threw off his opened upper garment.
The flickering firelight greedily licked over his upper body, smooth and refined like sculpture.
For an instant, her heart fluttered in a spasm.
Thalia hurriedly lowered her gaze.
Varkas cupped her cheeks with both hands and forced her to lift her head and look at him.
“It is not too late even now. If you tell me to leave, I will withdraw quietly.”
It was a question that tore apart even the last of her pride.
Thalia glared at him, forcing strength into her reddened eyes.
“My decision has not changed.”
So please, stop asking.
As she swallowed the plea that had risen to her throat, his hand slid down the nape of her neck.
Thalia flinched and stiffened.
As if testing her, Varkas kept his cool gaze fixed on her face while his fingers traced over her skin damp with cold sweat, then moved to the button at the very top of her cleavage.
Then, as if giving her time to refuse, he dragged the moment out for a long while before slowly undoing the loop.
At last, the front of the dress opened, revealing the swollen valley beneath.
His blue eyes, deeper than usual, settled upon it.
It felt as though her heart would break through her ribs and leap out of her body at any moment.
Biting her lip in shame, Thalia hurriedly grabbed Varkas’s wrist when his hand moved down to the second button.
“Turn off… all the lights.”
He stood still and only quietly looked down at her.
At the look in his eyes, which seemed to see straight through her deeply shrunken heart, Thalia raised her voice.
“Didn’t you hear me?”
Only then did Varkas rise and extinguish the candles placed throughout the room.
As deep shadows fell over the room, his outline blurred.
But it was not dark enough to satisfy her.
She gestured with her chin toward the fireplace.
“That too.”
The man, who had been quietly watching her, walked to the fireplace and lowered the cover.
At last, thick darkness swallowed the room.
Thalia inhaled deeply and squeezed out a suppressed voice.
“Now… come here.”
But no sound of movement came.
Thalia swept the darkness with dilated pupils and pitifully moved her lips.
“Varkas… w-where are you?”
As the silence continued, the feeling of suffocation grew stronger.
Had he perhaps disappeared and left her behind?
While she breathed raggedly, overcome by despair, one side of the bed sank.
Finding his shadow, Thalia urgently reached out.
She had no room left to preserve her dignity.
She wrapped her arms around his long, taut neck and inhaled his scent as if drawing in air.
She had to confirm that she had not been left alone in this darkness, that he was there with her.
“Hold me, right now.”
Only after her fit had barely subsided did she struggle to speak into his ear.
The man, who had been stiff as stone, laid her down on the bed.
Thalia looked up at the black shadow looming over her with faintly trembling eyes.
A startlingly hot hand settled over skin that had gone cold as ice.
As she startled at the hand clutching the front of her dress and shrank her neck, the hem of her skirt rolled up over her waist.
Realizing that he was trying to undress her, Thalia shouted hysterically.
“N-no! Don’t take it off!”
The black shadow above her head stopped all movement for an instant.
Thalia grabbed his wrist and urgently added.
“Just do it while I’m still dressed.”
“…Are you telling me to violate you?”
A hoarse voice rang in her ear.
Thalia barely swallowed the sob trying to force its way through her throat.
“It’s not violation. It’s just… this is the way I want it.”
Without hiding her body inside the trailing dress, she felt as though she could not possibly endure his touch.
Swallowing the rest of those words, she pulled at his shoulder with all her strength.
Varkas stiffened for a moment, then soon let out a rough breath and came over her.
Immediately after, a wet tongue pushed between her lips.
When she instinctively drew in the flesh entering so deeply it seemed to stab her throat, his hot breath filled her lungs.
It felt as if she were inhaling fire.
Swept up in the dizzying heat, she pulled his neck even harder, and then she felt a large hand push between her thighs.
Thalia hurriedly spread her knees, afraid that hand might touch her leg.
Long, firm fingers settled directly upon a sensitive place.
In that instant, an unexpected sense of revulsion crawled up her back.
Thalia hurriedly pushed his tongue out and shook her head in small, quick motions.
“I-I don’t like that. Don’t do it.”
“If I do not loosen you, you may be hurt.”
A soothing voice scattered by her ear.
Thalia shook her head even more fiercely.
“I-it’s fine, so just do it.”
“…Not until you are sufficiently prepared.”
Varkas murmured in a low voice by her ear and slowly began to move his fingers.
Thalia twitched her stomach and dug her nails into shoulders as hard as marble.
The pores all over her body opened, and cold sweat streamed down her skin.
It was horrifying that he was touching the dirtiest part of her.
In truth, she had not even wanted him to know that such an ugly place existed on her body.
Trembling, Thalia soon lost patience and urged him on in a rough voice.
“I-it’s enough now. It’s enough, so… just do it.”
“Not yet.”
“I don’t… want to wait any longer. Hurry and do it.”
If he dragged this out any longer, she felt as though she might lose her grip on consciousness.
Just as she was about to say that, she felt the solid muscles surrounding his body contract all at once.
A short while later, the sound of his belt being undone reached her ears, and his waist, tightly fitted between her thighs, lowered.
Thalia tensed her whole body like a drawn bowstring.
A heavy pressure was felt below.
Instinctively, she pulled her hips back, but the pressure only grew more severe.
At the sensation of her insides being crushed, her mouth opened on its own.
No scream came out.
Like a fish pulled onto land, she silently opened and closed her mouth, rolling his name on the tip of her tongue.
Varkas.
Varkas.
Varkas.
As she repeated his name again and again, like a drowning person clutching at straw, he pushed deeper inside.
At the pain as if her body were being torn apart, a rough sob finally burst out.
Perhaps hearing that sound, Varkas finally stopped entering.
In her vision, now accustomed to the darkness, she faintly saw a face that seemed to be enduring something terrible.
At that moment, a pain surpassing the pain of the body pressed down on her chest.
More than the act of invading her body, the expression on his face, as though he were enduring an ordeal, hurt a hundred times more.
Thalia pressed down the sob tangled in her throat and bit hard into her lip.
Please do not frown.
Do not make that expression, as if you hate this.
As she swallowed the words that only circled inside her mouth, the man watching her with pale eyes slowly drew his waist back.
Realizing that he was trying to stop, Thalia clung fiercely to his back.
“No. Don’t stop here.”
There was no need to feel miserable.
No need to suffer either.
I am only using him for my own purpose.
Repeating that inwardly, Thalia raised her waist despite the pain.
As the loosened joining deepened, their sweat-soaked bodies tangled together.
At the same time, a grinding sound, like clenched teeth, reached her ears, followed by somewhat rough movements.
Thalia desperately endured his motions.
Her lower abdomen gradually grew hot, as if she were holding a piece of iron heated in fire.
It was so strange.
That the body of a person who was always as cold as ice could be so hot.
Thalia, panting as she held tightly to the sturdy body slick with sweat, unconsciously scratched down his hard, swollen back muscles.
As his movements gradually quickened, her vision shook dizzily.
She did not know how long she was pushed again and again by the rough current, like a wrecked little boat, before his increasingly rough movements finally reached their end.
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