Chapter 130
Varkas tickled her lips with his thumb and leaned the straight bridge of his nose near her temple.
“On that day, I will keep the room dark.”
Thalia, leaning her shoulder against his broad chest, moved her eyes this way and that before slowly nodding.
He grasped the tip of her chin and quietly watched her eyes.
Just as she began to feel like fleeing from an unknown shame, Varkas lowered his lips again.
This time, it was a light kiss like a bird rubbing its beak.
That feather-like contact collapsed something deep inside her heart.
As if denying that fact, Thalia squeezed her eyes tightly shut.
***
After that day, Thalia began staying in his bedchamber as if it were natural.
Her excuse was that she was keeping watch over the unreliable healer.
However, even after the treatment ended, she did not leave the room.
Pretending to be unable to refuse his demand that she feed him medicine, she would linger, then somehow end up falling asleep in his bed.
It was a change that had happened only a month after she had made a fuss that she would return to her own room even if she died.
Thalia was disgusted with herself for it, but she dragged in all sorts of reasons to justify herself.
This is only a temporary change.
Because he is injured, and because I cannot bring myself to push away an injured man, I am only compromising for a short while.
Once Varkas fully recovered, she intended to retreat back outside the line she had drawn for herself.
That was why her anger toward Varkas, who did not properly take care of his body, was justified.
The slower his recovery became, the longer this ambiguous state would continue, would it not?
After stewing on it all day, Thalia hurled an accusation at Varkas as soon as he returned to the room at a late hour.
“You have no right to nag me about my health.”
Varkas, who had been entering the room, sent her a puzzled look.
Thalia threw down the book resting on her lap as if tossing it aside and climbed down from his bed, raising her voice.
“You’re working like an ox with that body! You even had a fever at dawn…”
“My body was fine.”
Varkas took off his coat and calmly refuted her.
Thalia lifted the corners of her eyes.
“No, it wasn’t. You were hotter than usual.”
“If that was the case, it was probably not because of a fever.”
Thalia looked bewildered for a moment, then soon blushed.
She could not understand how he could say such things without changing expression even once.
It seemed that the concept of shame did not exist for him.
Thalia gritted her teeth and said.
“There’s magical beast poison flowing through your body, so there’s no way you can be fine. You need to rest properly until it is detoxified.”
“I have been finishing my work earlier than usual lately.”
Varkas answered dryly, then unfastened his sword belt and placed it on the stand.
Thalia let out a hollow laugh.
The schedule she had forced out of the butler earlier that day was almost like a punishment.
She wondered if even the most ascetic monk could live like that.
Every morning, Varkas rose from bed before the sun had even risen and headed to the training ground.
After training in martial arts there, he moved to the military base and checked in detail the training status of each unit, the current state of recruitment, and even the management of military supplies before handling all kinds of approval documents.
After that, he reviewed petitions coming in from across the East, met with members of the city council to discuss policies, and sometimes attended events hosted by the Great Temple or meetings of the noble alliance.
It was hard to believe that one person could handle so many things at once.
She spoke with some anxiety.
“Even a perfectly healthy person would die before long if they lived like you.”
“I have been trained since I was eight years old to handle a schedule like this. You will not become a widow because of me, so do not worry.”
At his insensitive reply, Thalia clenched her fists.
If he had been in perfect condition, she would have thrown a pillow at that impassive face.
“How can you be so sure? Everyone who dies from overwork is just like you. They overestimate their health, then one day they collapse and never open their eyes again! Just wait. If you keep living like that, you’ll be next.”
“…Is that concern or a curse?”
Varkas, who had been undoing the buttons of his doublet, looked back at her as if dumbfounded.
Thalia gave him a venomous smile like a poisoned cat.
“Which do you think it is?”
Varkas narrowed his eyes, let out a small sigh, and took off his upper garment, throwing it onto a chair.
Seeing his bare body revealed by the light, Thalia inhaled without realizing it.
The bandage she had changed for him last night had been cleanly removed.
She approached him and carefully examined his shoulder.
Only faint traces remained where the wound had been.
“What happened? You said there was still one more day before it would be fully treated.”
“The ointment made by that healer worked better than expected. As soon as it was confirmed that the symptoms of poisoning had disappeared, I received treatment from a priest.”
She swallowed dryly.
“T-that’s good.”
She stepped back with an awkward face, but a gloved finger touched her face.
“Are you relieved now?”
Varkas asked while quietly looking into her eyes.
For some reason, a chilling feeling came over her, as if the docile hound she had been carelessly playing with had bitten her throat.
Thalia turned her head aside as if shaking off his hand and answered bluntly.
“Yes, now there’s no need to worry.”
Looking down at his shadow cast over the carpet, Thalia quietly raised her head.
Eyes that seemed deep in thought were looking down at her right before her.
He swept the hair away from her forehead and asked.
“What do you want me to do?”
Thalia tightly clutched the hem of her dress.
Her lips felt parched.
“I…”
She did not know why she was pretending to be distracted.
Had she not been urging his recovery so they could have relations?
Now she had to demand intimacy from him, just as she had planned.
She clutched the fabric and wet her dry lips.
At that moment, a coaxing voice poured down over the crown of her head.
“If you do not want it, I will wait longer.”
However, as if he would not allow her to leave the room, a large hand wrapped around her waist.
Thalia looked up at him with trembling eyes.
If we are not going to join our bodies, there is no reason for me to be here.
Then why can’t I shake off this hand?
And why do you want me to stay beside you?
To say that simply being together is enough, even if we do nothing.
Is that not like love?
At that moment, a feeling close to fear swept down her back.
It felt as though she were standing naked in the middle of a banquet hall.
She clasped her trembling hands tightly together.
Do not expect anything.
You must not expect anything at all.
As she repeated that compulsively, she struggled to force out a tightly strained voice.
“Turn off all the lights.”
Even if she suffocated to death, all she wanted was to hide in the darkness at once.
She urged him in an anxious voice.
“Right now.”
“…Are you truly all right?”
“Why wouldn’t I be all right?”
Thalia spoke as if sneering.
“This is the only thing I want from you. I want nothing else.”
A subtle expression crossed his face.
She did not want to know what it was.
Thalia endured the blade-like silence with her eyes fixed on the floor.
At last, he turned and extinguished all the lights in the room one by one.
However, the moonlight pouring down through the window was brightly illuminating the room.
Thalia urged him in a suppressed voice.
“Close the curtains too.”
The man approached the window with steps so slow that it made her burn inside.
But he did not draw the curtains, only quietly looked up at the brightly shining moon.
Thalia watched his straight back, seized by an unknown fear.
At that moment, the man, who had stood motionless as if thinking about something, strode back to her.
Thalia stepped back with a flustered expression.
Varkas reached out, lifted her up in one swift motion, and headed straight for the bed.
Thalia instinctively struggled.
“No! I told you to close the curtains!”
“I will not look at anything you do not want to show me.”
After setting her down on the bed, Varkas whispered into her ear.
Thalia looked up at him with terrified eyes.
Varkas bent over her and wrapped the blanket around both of their bodies.
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