Chapter 158
Before he knew it, the sun had set.
How many hours had passed since he left the bedroom?
Looking up at the dark sky outside the window and trying to estimate the time, he quickened his steps along the corridor lit with torches.
He knew she thought of him as a jailer, so he tried not to grow impatient, but his nerves were on edge like someone who had left behind a prisoner who might flee at any moment.
He immediately left the corridor and set foot on the stairs.
At that moment, Daren, who had followed him with heavy footsteps, urgently spoke to him.
“Your Grace, I understand your frustration, but... is it truly all right to speak that way to His Majesty the Emperor’s messenger? What will you do if he conveys Your Grace’s words exactly as they were said...”
“Did you listen to me carelessly?”
Varkas replied dryly, keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead.
“Even if he does not convey them, I intend to report them myself.”
“...His Majesty was surely trying to show favor to Your Grace with that proposal.”
Varkas, who had been going down the stairs, stopped abruptly and looked back at him.
The man continued as if persuading him.
“Was it not a marriage that was forced through from the beginning because he could not withstand the Empress’s pressure? His Majesty must be trying to correct that mistake on this occasion. He likely brought it up first out of consideration, guessing it would be difficult for Your Grace to request it yourself...”
“Consideration?”
Varkas climbed one step back up and met the man at eye level as he spoke slowly.
“You think the proposal to shove the woman who nearly died giving birth to my child into a monastery is consideration?”
The man swallowed dryly, his thick throat moving, and turned his eyes aside with an uncomfortable look.
“I, too, regret what happened this time. But...”
“If you regret it...”
Varkas brought his face close to the man’s and spoke low.
“Shut your mouth. There are more than a few knights in the world who died by their lord’s hand after carelessly wagging their tongues. Let us not add your name to that long list.”
“Your Grace.”
As Varkas turned to go back down the stairs, the man hurriedly grabbed his shoulder.
Varkas glared at him with cold eyes.
As if pricked by that gaze, Daren flinched and let go, then soon let out a weary sigh.
“Negative words about Her Highness the Grand Duchess are circulating among the vassals. If Your Grace continues to respond as you are now, before long the eastern Noble Alliance will also demand the same thing as His Majesty the Emperor. Do you intend to hang every vassal who offers loyal counsel out of concern for the future of the grand ducal territory?”
When he gave no reply, the man continued in a somewhat stronger tone.
“Your Grace has not even held the title for a full year yet. This is precisely the time when you must clearly prove your leadership. The ruler of the East cannot forever remain busy cleaning up after a woman who has lost her mind...”
“Daren.”
Varkas interrupted his aide in a soft voice.
Whatever he saw in Varkas’s eyes, the man’s babbling cheeks stiffened tightly.
Varkas quietly stared at that blood-drained face and calmly continued.
“Only a little over one month has passed since a tragedy befell my wife and me.”
“......”
“So stop whining like a child. Even in the middle of this, unable to withstand your whining and nagging, I am handling every essential duty I must fulfill as Grand Duke, am I not? Because none of you are of any help.”
When the man could not find words to refute him and closed his mouth, Varkas slowly turned away.
After passing through the passage connected to the main castle and reaching the door of his bedroom, the soldier guarding the corridor paid his respects with a deeply tense face.
Varkas passed him and immediately pulled open the bedroom door.
For an instant, his head grew hazy.
When he breathed in the dense air mixed with stale smoke and a sweetish scent, his already muffled vision seemed to sink underwater.
Come to think of it, when was the last time he had closed his eyes?
It seemed to have been about two days ago.
And even then, he had only slept for about an hour.
He thought that perhaps his body was finally reaching its limit.
While numbingly diagnosing his own physical condition, Varkas waited until his vision cleared, then closed the door behind him and entered the room.
“Did anything happen?”
When he threw the question to the maid waiting beside the fireplace, the frozen girl let out a voice that seemed to crawl into the floor.
“N-Nothing happened.”
“Her meal?”
“J-Just a short while ago, she finished a bowl of porridge. After that, she took the medicine the healer had prepared and is now sleeping.”
He approached the bedside and looked down at his wife, who was buried beneath the blanket.
Golden hair like threads of gold clung like cobwebs to her pale face and neck, as if she were someone who had never once received light in her entire life.
He reached out to remove it, then lowered his arm again.
Recently, she had not been able to sleep deeply.
Afraid he might disturb her sleep, he only gestured with his chin for the maid to leave.
The young maid, who had been watching his expression nervously, carefully left the bedroom.
Varkas walked to the fireplace and placed a mana stone over the flickering flames.
Then he took off his outer garment and threw it aside carelessly before filling the basin with water and washing his hands, when a fading voice came from behind him.
“Until when...”
Varkas turned his head over his shoulder and frowned when he found his wife blankly looking at him.
The woman, who was chewing on her lips where dried scabs had clung, released the rest of her voice as if it might crumble apart.
“How long are you planning to stick by my side?”
He had to waste several seconds grasping the meaning of those words.
He picked up a towel and replied with utmost calm, as if he had received a question of no importance.
“Until you are all right.”
A sound like escaping air flowed from the mouth of the woman staring blankly at him.
“You want me to be all right?”
Varkas, recognizing the cynicism in those words, quietly looked down at her.
The woman, who had bitten a bleak smile into her lips, sent him a gaze like shards of broken glass.
But because of her wet eyes, she only looked empty and pitiful.
Without even realizing what expression she herself was making, the woman poured out poisonous words.
“But what should I do? As long as you are beside me, I don’t think I’ll ever be all right...”
The thorned voice scraped past somewhere inside his body.
But that stinging sensation failed to reach his crushed consciousness and scattered like smoke.
Chasing that faint sensation, Varkas slowly closed his eyes and opened them.
There was no need to dwell on words she poured out at random.
This woman simply needed an outlet to spill her emotions.
Repeating that inwardly, he was about to turn away as if nothing had happened, but his lips, slipping out of reason’s control, released a dry question.
“Why...”
The woman looked at him with dazed eyes.
Without realizing what he himself was asking, he moved his lips.
“Why can’t you be all right if I am here?”
For an instant, the woman’s face, as if she had forgotten what to say, distorted faintly.
Soon after, a strained breath was heard, full of pain, as if she were vomiting up something caught in her throat.
“Because looking at you hurts.”
In that instant, every thought stopped moving.
The deep blue eyes that had ruled one corner of his consciousness for many long years seemed to drive him into a deep and dark place.
“So let’s stop now.”
She continued as if lamenting.
“Anywhere is fine. Send me somewhere I can’t see you. I... want to forget everything now.”
After standing frozen like a stone statue for a moment, he roughly tugged at his collar like a man being strangled.
Those were lips that had always freely spouted words she did not mean.
They were not worth listening to.
Varkas pulled down the buttons of his upper garment and spoke coldly.
“You cannot go anywhere.”
At the voice that came out rougher than he had intended, a shadow of fear crossed her face.
Ordinarily, he would have considered how to erase it.
But now, he did not feel like soothing her.
He wanted this woman to be afraid.
So that she would never again be able to make such a demand.
No comments yet. Be the first to leave a review!